SHE WILL LIVE IN MY MEMORY FOR EVER
by Xiong Lei from Beijing, China
When my employer, Xinhua (New China) News Agency, was to host the visiting delegation from the Freedom Forum Foundation in 1992, I was borrowed by the agency's foreign liaison office to work as an interpreter and tour guide for Nancy. I didn't expect this relationship established in a few days could develop into a real friendship between Nancy, her husband Bill and daughter Tennie and me.
I was prepared to meet an iron lady. Instead, I saw a caring wife and mother who at the same time was always on the alert and witty as a professional. I was delighted to see a strong woman who was nevertheless gentle and soft, and immediately I became fond of her because her personality was to my liking. What struck me more was that her only daughter, Tennie, was not at all like so many spoiled only kids I had come across often in both the United States and China. Every Xinhua colleague accompanying the American group liked Tennie, and we all called her "Sweet Girl," which is exactly the way the Chinese word 'Tennie' is translated into English. From this sweet girl I perceived the success of Nancy in her family education. My admiration for her increased.
But Nancy won my and other Xinhua colleagues' respect for her earnestness in understanding China. Throughout our association, Nancy never attempted to impose any of her ideas or convictions on us. She was interested in learning anything new to her. So we had an equal exchange of experiences, and I learned a lot from her.
A year later, I joined the first Chinese women journalists delegation to visit the United States. When Nancy learned about our visit, she managed to have the whole group of us eight Chinese women journalists spend a weekend at Seneca Falls, NY, and arranged some wonderful activities for us. In just 24 hours I learned a lot about the history of American women movement and renewed my friendship with Nancy and her family. One of the most important experiences I learned from Nancy was the "Women, Men and Media" survey. I took it back to China and started our media watch program in the Capital Women Journalists Association, of which I was a council member at the time (now I'm one of its vice-presidents).
During the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women held in Beijing in 1995, I reported our survey findings in our workshop at the NGO Forum. We developed the survey a little bit as we fedback the findings to the editors-in-chiefs of the newspapers we surveyed and asked for their comments on their respective newspapers' coverage of gender-related issues. Nancy was very happy with what we had been doing in China and enthusiastically recommended it to interested people from many other countries.
In the past year and more I've been very sorry and disappointed to see that the American news media become so hostile to China that their coverage of my country is almost always biased. When I deplore such coverage, I always feel a kind of warmth when I think of Nancy. If all the journalists could be like her, willing to understand others, able to agree to differ, standing for equality and never imposing on other people, we won't have so many conflicts created out of nothing and the world will be a lot better.
I was grieved for having lost such a dear friend. I felt anguished that such an outstanding person should have left us so soon! But deep in my heart, Nancy is still alive with me. She will live in my memory forever.
What Deborah Tannen wrote about Nancy
When my employer, Xinhua (New China) News Agency, was to host the visiting delegation from the Freedom Forum Foundation in 1992, I was borrowed by the agency's foreign liaison office to work as an interpreter and tour guide for Nancy. I didn't expect this relationship established in a few days could develop into a real friendship between Nancy, her husband Bill and daughter Tennie and me.
I was prepared to meet an iron lady. Instead, I saw a caring wife and mother who at the same time was always on the alert and witty as a professional. I was delighted to see a strong woman who was nevertheless gentle and soft, and immediately I became fond of her because her personality was to my liking. What struck me more was that her only daughter, Tennie, was not at all like so many spoiled only kids I had come across often in both the United States and China. Every Xinhua colleague accompanying the American group liked Tennie, and we all called her "Sweet Girl," which is exactly the way the Chinese word 'Tennie' is translated into English. From this sweet girl I perceived the success of Nancy in her family education. My admiration for her increased.
But Nancy won my and other Xinhua colleagues' respect for her earnestness in understanding China. Throughout our association, Nancy never attempted to impose any of her ideas or convictions on us. She was interested in learning anything new to her. So we had an equal exchange of experiences, and I learned a lot from her.
A year later, I joined the first Chinese women journalists delegation to visit the United States. When Nancy learned about our visit, she managed to have the whole group of us eight Chinese women journalists spend a weekend at Seneca Falls, NY, and arranged some wonderful activities for us. In just 24 hours I learned a lot about the history of American women movement and renewed my friendship with Nancy and her family. One of the most important experiences I learned from Nancy was the "Women, Men and Media" survey. I took it back to China and started our media watch program in the Capital Women Journalists Association, of which I was a council member at the time (now I'm one of its vice-presidents).
During the United Nations Fourth World Conference on Women held in Beijing in 1995, I reported our survey findings in our workshop at the NGO Forum. We developed the survey a little bit as we fedback the findings to the editors-in-chiefs of the newspapers we surveyed and asked for their comments on their respective newspapers' coverage of gender-related issues. Nancy was very happy with what we had been doing in China and enthusiastically recommended it to interested people from many other countries.
In the past year and more I've been very sorry and disappointed to see that the American news media become so hostile to China that their coverage of my country is almost always biased. When I deplore such coverage, I always feel a kind of warmth when I think of Nancy. If all the journalists could be like her, willing to understand others, able to agree to differ, standing for equality and never imposing on other people, we won't have so many conflicts created out of nothing and the world will be a lot better.
I was grieved for having lost such a dear friend. I felt anguished that such an outstanding person should have left us so soon! But deep in my heart, Nancy is still alive with me. She will live in my memory forever.
What Deborah Tannen wrote about Nancy